Life Palate Cleansing

A few weeks ago, I picked up a watermelon at the market. Melon hunting continues to be a mysterious experience for me. I have never quite picked up on what I’m listening for with all the thumping and knocking. I usually look for one heavy for its size and scratched up. I’m told the discoloration and ugly lines mean it has ripened in the field and is full of sweetness. The uglier the better. Even still, it’s a guessing game, each time crossing my fingers hoping to win the watermelon lottery. 

So.. I cut into this melon and it’s bright red. Yay! And then I give it a taste. Mehh.. at this point, I’m thinking I had picked a rotten one. The taste was off and I was ready to toss it when I had a friend try a bite. She seemed to think it was good. I tried another bite and realized that maybe it is okay. Maybe it’s not the melon, but me. I had just finished eating a giant salad with a myriad of ingredients tossed in a cilantro-lime dressing. I put the chopped watermelon in the fridge and tried it again later. Delicious! Sweetest watermelon I had purchased all summer and maybe the sweetest one I’ve purchased in the past two years.

Strange thing, isn’t it? Something tasted with a fresh palate changes the experience. My tongue had been tainted by what I ate previously and I wasn’t able to fully experience the sweetness of the watermelon. Not only did I not experience how great it was, but I was ready to toss it out thinking the melon was bad.

I see how true this is in life. All of our experiences, we judge as good or bad. Are we “tasting” life with a fresh new palate or are we experiencing life through a mask of old beliefs and limited thoughts that we have not yet let go of?

When I go out for sushi, it’s always served with a bit of ginger as a palate cleanser. Other times, I’ve been to a teahouse where they serve a small sorbet, which serves the same purpose. A palate cleanser is a way to cleanse the taste buds of previous flavors so that each course or bite can be experienced fully as intended, it’s pure essence, and enhance the experience of the meal.  

Certainly, we’ve got to have some sort of palate cleansers for life. What a muddled mess my life has become when I’ve brought old beliefs and stories and fears to my current experiences. How often I have brought fears and stories from old relationships into the new ones. And how often have I stopped myself from new life experiences from the fears of how previous ones turned out? What if I could begin each experience new and fresh? Untainted with previous fears, perceptions, false story telling, and the old monkey mind.

I’ve discovered that an asana based yoga practice as well as meditation is the best life palate cleanser for me. In each spinal twist, in each ujjayi breath, and every warrior pose, I’m forced into a stillness and quiet. And in that space, I squeeze out a little more of my past story. A little more of that cilantro-lime dressing that’s masking the sweetness of this fresh new sweet watermelon gets cleansed away. That big salad with cilantro-lime dressing was perfect when I had it, but it belongs in the past, in the moment I ate it. It doesn’t belong in my bowl of watermelon. What are your old stories and beliefs that are holding you back from enjoying this moment?

If yoga doesn’t call to you, the essence of the practice is found along many paths. Maybe you find it in running, nature, being near water, prayer, church, a long hug, swimming, cooking, etc. Seek out and spend some time with those things that create stillness and quiet in your body and mind. That place where everything feels fresh and new. There, you’ll find the secret to life.

Becoming a Timeshifting Ninja

When I was a college student with a second hand inexpensive car, things frequently came up that needed fixing. Usually something like a water pump, transmission service, new timing belt, or spark plugs. On those days, with my car in the shop, my dad was often the one available to bring me to school and work. Being the last minute person I am, my routine usually was to wake up late, leave late, and dodge through traffic where I spent a ridiculous amount of time circling the parking lot and walking my little legs as fast as I could to class only to arrive out of breath and late. So, those days when I counted on my dad for a ride, I wasn’t able to control the speed of the vehicle, which, for my dad is typically a slow meandering pace with more watching everything on the side of the road than on the road. We’d get in the car, running late, (which of course was my fault) and work our way through New Orleans I-10 traffic. Cars would pass and dad would engage in conversation with me, as I prayed he would remember I don’t talk in the morning. He’s never been one to dodge in and out of traffic, pass other cars, or speed through yellow lights. More often than not, he drives just under the speed limit, which is excruciating painful when you’re already late and have no control over navigating through traffic. And yet, somehow, by some mysterious magical forces of the universe, I would always arrive much faster than if I were driving by rushing and weaving through traffic. It wasn’t just a lucky day, this would happen consistently, nearly every time I was in the car with him. I always wondered, "How did this happen?" Perplexed and curious, how is it possible to move at a slower pace and yet arrive like you’ve been driving at 90 mph instead of 50 mph? I’ve got a few thoughts...

As I’ve grown older and bumped up against life enough times to cause some pretty gnarly scrapes and bruises, I’ve gravitated towards mindfulness based practices which have shed some light on components of this magical time shifting.

There are 3 specific things I found in my dad’s ninja driving that I was missing in my attempt to hyper-navigate traffic.

Ease – My dad drives with ease. (A little too much according to my mother). It’s the ease of a retired courier and fisherman with no major looming stressful deadlines. It’s the laid back presence of simply noticing the old buildings, the wildlife, and the rising and falling of waterways (again, my mother keeps him in check, “Fred! The road!” Dad’s response, “Gloria! I see the road!” -- I digress). It’s the ease of taking time to notice life around him while he’s navigating, as opposed to always rushing to a destination.

Steadiness – There’s a steadiness in his driving. Often slow, but not lagging. We don’t pull over to look at old buildings and get lost and abandon the journey. He has a direction and a purpose, but there’s no rush. He simply applies a constant and steady forward motion towards our destination. He doesn’t speed up and then slam on the breaks or rev the engine and weave in and around other vehicles. Emotions aren’t high and filled with rage, or then filled with victory as we bypass 10 cars. He doesn’t engage in competing with other vehicles or getting ahead. He slowly comes to a complete stop when approaching a stop sign, he slows down when the light turns yellow, and when the light turns green he eases onto the gas and we continue onward. He recognizes his own journey and pace, knowing we will arrive when we arrive.

Surrender – When he’s driving, there is a surrender. He knows we are at the mercy of traffic. There could be accidents on the road, there could be a million various obstacles in our way. Or a train. There’s always a train. And back home they are long sloooow cargo trains. When one of those beasts stop you, there’s nothing to do but shift your car into park and close your eyes for a nap. You can feel the surrender in his driving. He does the work of moving the vehicle safely through traffic to the best of his ability and surrenders the rest and trusts we will arrive to our destination in our own perfect time.

Contrast that to my anxiety fear ridden morning drives on the I-10 to school everyday. My mental state was stressed and stomach in knots. I was trying to control things outside of my control. Most of the time was spent speeding up only to slam on my brakes or trying to figure out which lane was the fastest. By the time I arrived, I was mentally and physically exhausted, late, and I did it to myself. I didn’t know I could choose how to navigate. I thought morning traffic = stressful driving. I didn’t know I could choose ease.

The thing about this is, it’s applicable to all of life and not only navigating traffic. How are you “driving” your business/job, your personal life, romantic relationships, fitness and health, or even your spiritual life? Do you find yourself rushing through hyper-focused on the destination and everything else is lost? Are you weaving in and out of traffic so much that you are completely exhausted or have crashed your car? Are you so anxious and fearful that you’re getting into unnecessary conflicts with others on the road? Does your vehicle need an oil change that you’re ignoring? Is your engine overheating? Have you checked your tires? How do you feel?

For many of us, encouraging a state of ease feels opposite of what we need to do to get where we want. The messages we hear all the time are a lot about the “hustle” and getting things done and going, going, going. I’m not suggesting to abandon the “hustle”, but simply look at how you are “hustling”. Can you still “hustle" with a sense of ease? I’d would offer up, “Yes, you can!!” Not only is it possible, but you just might find yourself becoming a timeshifting ninja.